Introduction of HELIOS Drone on Campus
Our president, Johnny Jones, has approved a new mechanism for improving attendance of early morning classes.
Using funds reallocated from janitorial services, the college has introduced HELIOS, the Hyper-Efficient-Lifting-Individuals-Of-Sleep, an Unmanned Ground Vehicle (UGV).
Features of HELIOS
- Tracks allowing it to go across any kind of terrain, provided by rubber taken from several tires in the Kaufman parking lot.
- A set of grabbing arms, described by a test subject as having a motion that was like ‘breaking any heart without regret’ and tends to target unspecified parts of the body.
The motion of the arms was like ‘breaking any heart without regret’.
The investigation into HELIOS was hindered when a triangle with an eye in the middle popped up on the reporter's screen.
Author's summary: College introduces HELIOS drone to improve attendance.